I have tons to say. Tons! I started writing this about five times today and wound up deleting it. I would start to write then think that it was stupid and no one would find it interesting. Getting all weirded out like I am required to write content for others to read. The truth is, this is therapeutic for me. If people read it and enjoy it that is great. But I have to be true to myself and treat this blog as I had intended it to be- like a diary. Me writing to get my emotions out. So hear goes....
I have a love-hate relationship with food!! I am home sick today from work. I didn’t feel like drinking shakes today. So I obsess with what I should or shouldn’t eat. It’s pretty messed up, this brain of mine. Umm, 90% of my weight problem is the space between my ears!!!
I ate a Belvita for breakfast. I kept thinking how it was a carb and I shouldn’t eat it. Lunch was eggs with cheese. That’s a great low carb lunch. But I was thinking, that’s a lot of calories!! Can we ever win?!?! I am exhausted. Like really tired of being so much in my head. I am afraid of food. That’s it. I am! I realized that today! A lightbulb moment.
So I began to pray. I honestly asked God to help me with this obsession I have. I asked him to help me eat like a normal person and not be so afraid of food. Does God care about my worry? Something so trivial. Anything we are concerned with he is too.
I love the Plexus shakes but I just couldn’t do them today with a stomach ache. The milk just didn’t sound appealing. But I love them. Part of the reason I love them is because I don’t have to think about what to eat or the calorie/carb/fat content. It’s easy and nutritious. There is nothing wrong with meal replacements. But my ultimate goal is to learn to trust myself when eating. That‘s what this is all about....
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