I said it at first and I will say it again... I am an addict. A food addict. It’s not like I sit and eat a gallon of ice cream or a box of cookies at one sitting. But once I begin to eat things I shouldn’t it’s like I lose it. Lose complete control!!! I ate cake last night. It was a trigger for me. How does one piece of cake control my mind and emotions?
Today was supposed to be a new day. I would wake up and start over. Drink my shakes and eat my one meal and all would be well. Nope! I ate oatmeal for breakfast. Good healthy breakfast. But I went to a very posh baby shower at 10:30. The food was super good. I wasn’t hungry but I did eat. Not that big of a deal, is it? That’s what we all do. But it starts a mental dialog of FAILURE mentality. About 2 pm I got hungry again. Instead of doing what I was supposed to do... I felt I would just keep eating all bad stuff so when I do start fresh I wouldn’t crave it. It’s an excuse. That’s truth!! Its an excuse to feed the addiction of yummy junk food.
Reality....... it causes me to feel defeated and begins a depressive situation for me!! In truth I began this blog as a means to highlight my daily success for the Plexus Sleigh Challenge for 14 days. For a chance to win $10,000 I could do anything for 14 days. I thought this blog would give me a better chance of winning because the judges could see my commitment and read my daily log. I am doing 90% better than normal. But it’s the 10% that bothers me most.
Winner or not..... I have to the honest. At this point I just got pick myself up by my boot straps and keep going. Tomorrow is a new day!!! Does anyone else feel this defeated when they don’t follow through with what they say they will do? Does it weigh on your mind and make you feel terrible? Does one cookie satisfy you or do you eat five like I do? Am I completly alone in this?
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