In writing a blog you use it kinda like a diary of sorts. You write to work out your emotions or your struggles. You do it not knowing if someone will read it or not. Content is important if you want readers. Content is not so important if you are literally just trying to write for the sake of therapy. I feel a little bit of both when it comes to this. I find that I censor myself. However, sometimes I just don't wanna be censored. I wanna just lay it bare. Then I remember my mom might read this...lol
The question I have for myself and for you is important. Do we live our lives in fear of what others think more than we should? My answer is YES times 100. Not just because of my weight gain. Although I use that as an excuse. Example: I sing. I love to sing. I am talented. People would actually pay to hear me sing. Do I do it? Nope. Why? Not even sure I can say why. It troubles me that I don't really have an answer for that. I find that I "lessen myself more than not". When it comes to almost everything. I don't like braggers. I don't like when people toot their own horn. I guess in my world if I do try and use my talents or my abilities I feel like I am showboating. There is that inner voice that says "they think you think you are something else". Then I think, "better tone it down or not do it all". I stifle this enormous personality for the sake of people who don't matter.
My title is Sorry, not sorry! That is how I want to live my life. I want to be able to be ME without apology. I want to be able to post myself singing, or a picture, or anything and not feel like I have to apologize for it. I don't suppose I am the only one that feels that way either. I saw a video of a little girl singing with a chorus. She was a little live wire. It was adorable. Your eye goes straight to her and you almost do not even pay attention to the other kids because she is singing and being so dramatic. She is awesome!!! That is me inside. Singing, moving to the music, got rhythm, and all. But I squash it all down. Singing and this girl is like a metaphor for my life. Last night I decided I would do Happy Birthday Song-a-grams for my friends birthdays on Facebook. I took a step in the direction of I DON'T CARE what you think.....it's a start! Watch her! I love it, Go LUCY, GO!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XHlmrp6xdI
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